Pee ‘Em Ass

For the last 2 days, my head has been nagging me with aching pain. Normally, that signals that my period is just closing the ramp to my street.

I know, I know, why talk about my menstrual cycle ? Well I just get PMS that can be so bad, it can ruin my life and my relationship with people. Tonight I knew if I acted on my feelings, I wouldn’t have a job right now.


At work tonight, my boss – the young one who’s into Japanese cars, questioned a few of the decisions I made. He even accused me “constructively” that I was rude to one of the guests by telling or asking “you’re dining by yourself ?” What I really meant to say was “so I should not bring you to a big table”. Boy I wanted to tell my boss that I have never been accused of being rude but he’s been rude to his staff in more ways than one. Of course, humoring him, was going to be in my best interest. I also had – let’s call her – Kendra tonight who was supposed to run and get tables ready while I manned the stand. She had my position before and I’ve proven more than once what a big tattle-tale she is. This idiot just won’t help out with the loads of menus I had to carry – considering my left hand is still on weight restrictions. I was definitely annoyed at her until she was taken away to help take orders.

Then my male boss kept turning into Mr. Hyde and asking me “why this” and “why that”. He always HAD SOMETHING to find wrong in what I’m doing. He may have told me I did a great job one night but when you’re in the moment, it can really harsh your mellow. I am the first person our guests see, so I have to be chipper. My main boss is impressed with that and doesn’t say anything hurtful. So I guess we all know which of the 2 male bosses in my life are camping and brought their bug sprays.

This is going to be a whine-fest, I’m giving you a disclaimer now.

We have a server whose name is Kathy, she’s overweight and a fault-finder. She’s also a liar and has the worst manners. I’ll give you an example: one day, she enters the restaurant as a guest. She was obviously with her boyfriend. While she started talking to me, she never introduces the person with her. She just asked for a gluten- free menu. When they dined, their server kept coming to me whining that it’s been half an hour and they still haven’t made up their mind about what to eat. Another day, I sat some guests and told her about them. The parents in this party are from New Zealand and they are here for the first time. I told Kathy that I sat a table for her : “oK” she says. I tell her that the parents in that table came from New Zealand and their kids brought them to dine here. “Oh wow.” She replied.

20 minutes later she hadn’t gone to the table and when confronted, she tells boy manager that she was never told. Now boss man is chiding me again.

So, all of these ass wipes that have been doing shit to me have been hidden blessings. Honestly ! Through their annoying traits and lies and arrogance, I learn to adjust and anticipate what could happen next.

Every time I sit a table now, I wait until the server acknowledges and the other staff can hear this. I also check right away if the guests have been seen by their server. Also, I have learned that humoring boy boss is the best way to shut him up. He likes being the boss and wants to be assured no one forgets. About Kendra – it’s her last day this week. Hallelujah.

So life goes on. I’m soaking my feet right now in hot eucalyptus-flavored epsom salt. It takes the stink away from my feet.

Thank goodness for Xanax, I haven’t done anything that I know I will regret.


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