New Pill

After all the medical appointments I had for my carpal tunnel yesterday, I went to se my last appointment which was with a psychiatrist. Following this appointment was a job interview hence I wore a cute blue dress with a black cardigan. Normally I wouldn’t dress up or wear makeup for these visits. Today was different.

My morning doctor appointment was for my steroid injection for the wrist. IT HURT LIKE WTF. Despite administering it with lidocaine, the shot felt like something was poking the inside of my fingers with a mini rake. Then shooting 1,000 joules of electricity on my right middle and left index fingers. I said “Aw, aw!” and couldn’t find myself to relax despite I tried. The last painful episode I recall was the electromyography that diagnosed this anyway. The physician warned me, “OK now this pain you will remember….”

After my steroid injections, that memory was replaced. I want to help patients with carpal tunnel syndrome tolerate this very painful procedure. It has been two days since my injection (obviously this post was not finished in a day) and I still wake up not even being able to close my left hand and partially able to close my right. Brushing my teeth and putting on the clasp of my bra have been a struggle for me. Despite that, I have been listening to Abba and some Jim Croce. I realize that listening to them instead of Fox News while putting on my make up makes me feel a little better.

For a little bit today I felt like maybe the Zoloft has been kicking in despite the fact that I’ve only taken two doses of it. This is one of the new medication that was prescribed by the psychiatrist that I saw. The first antidepressant that I’ve ever taken was Cymbalta. Eventually my insurance didn’t cover that and will try to be for hundred dollars every month for a bottle of pills. One of my friends who is a doctor, replace it with Effexor which gave me a tremendous lack of energy and made me have vivid nightmares when I forgot to take it. Blame me, but I also experienced a vivid nightmares when I would take this medication after I have been drinking alcohol. It has been so difficult weaning myself off the Effexor. Where is the sensation that you feel which is absolutely uncomfortable and difficult to explain as a matter of fact. I went from taking half tablets every day for a week and then 3/4 of the tablet for another two weeks. Eventually I got weaned off and swore never to take Effexor again or,  for that matter, any form of antidepressant.

If I want to describe the kind of nightmares that I was having, it involves me getting shot, getting chased by my ex-husband was trying to get my little kids away from me or just someone trying to kill me and strangle me. I’m sure I had more vivid dreams that are scarier. There have been times where I felt that I should end my life, but the thought of having my kids be hurt because of my dad kept me from pursuing suicide. I know that it will never be a solution to any of the problems that I’m going through right now. Of course, I admitted that to my shrink – it had occurred to me that I should just end my life. I think that this is something that someone who has major depression had considered once or 10 times in their depressed state.
So, going back to the new pill. They’re actually new pills . Zoloft and Seroquel.

YIKES ! Seroquel. I only used to give that to my elderly patients who can’t sleep or keep fidgeting. Never in my life did I even consider that I would once need this . So far, I have been sleeping like a log and not recall any nightmares – thank goodness ! The downside is, I get a hangover and sleep in longer. It’s only been day 3 of the two pills. Zoloft is supposedly going to start kicking in in 2-4 weeks. 

For almost 4 years, I’ve been on an antidepressant that made me gain weight and lose energy. Crossing my fingers Zoloft isn’t going to make me the same . Seroquel knocks me out in 15-30 minutes. 

Oh the drugs ! The drugs ! Lord help me get through this.


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