Carpal Tunnel…

…Sucks the life out of every single hand-related activity. 

Masturbation included. I have to put it there. That’s the reality of it. 

The injection that I got today was painful as hell but I’m really crossing my fingers it will help and I won’t require surgery.

My depression isn’t helping any of this pain.   The closer the day is to when my lease ends in my apartment, the more depressed I get. My dog’s wound seems to be getting better. If doesn’t stink today and I feel better about that. It would hurt us financially even further if I needed to bring him to a vet. Every bit of my money in the bank is allocated to rent. I don’t know what will happen to me and my family after June. 

I’m currently sitting here at Stanford Hospital waiting for my name to be called. After getting the steroid injections at the other clinic, I drove here right away . Good thing I arrived 40 minutes before my appointment, that way it gave me enough time to fill out the patient information (5 pages) and write about my misery.

Isn’t that what people like to read these days ? Lol

I’m hungry too besides my bladder being full. After this appointment I head over to see my therapist THEN psychiatrist. My whole life, I somehow am not surprised much that this is happening to me. After my violent marriage, I knew I would have issues, despite being done with it in 2002. The last time I saw my therapist, we talked about possibly getting one run. I procrastinated and haven’t even jogged. I just have no interest and although I used to love to run, I just can’t.

My last resort if I don’t find a place to live will be Florida with my sister. I love California and I wish to stay here for the rest of my life. Anyway, I know already that my sister and I won’t get along. 

Read this post and tell yourself, “hey my situation could be like hers…or worse”. You’ll feel better. 


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